The art of suffering less – by Anisoara Laura Mustetiu

How Suffering Shapes Personal Growt. A Transformative Path.

Suffering is inevitable. However, the way we perceive, interpret, and understand it determines how much influence it will have over us. Does it frighten us? Do we try to run from it, to avoid it? Or do we welcome it with dignity, with courage, ready to face it? Do we see it as an adversary, or do we say, “Welcome! How can I help you?”

One of my favorite quotes often comes to mind:
“In the midst of winter, I found within me an invincible summer.” — Albert Camus

This quote reflects how I choose to see life’s experiences. When suffering crosses my path, I have learned to greet it with gentleness. I listen to it, embrace it, and try to soothe it with warm and wise thoughts. Sometimes, it calms down. Then, I shake off the burden of pain and begin to reflect. What have I learned from this experience? What can I improve? What is missing, and how can I fill those gaps?

But other times, when suffering refuses to listen and becomes overwhelming, I change my approach. I scold it. No matter its reasons, it does not have the right to crush me or break me down. I love myself enough not to allow it to control me or become stronger than me. In those moments, I become like a parent to myself. I protect my being, my inner child.

In the past, I endured suffering in silence. When it arrived, it overwhelmed me. And I simply stayed quiet until it passed. Sometimes, when I couldn’t bear it anymore, I would go running in the forest. There, I let my tears flow freely. Occasionally, I would release a cry of pain. Then, everything would settle down. But I was also lucky, because within me there was always a small miracle—woven from self-love, a fierce desire to rise, to regain peace and harmony. That something compelled me to get up, to do anything, just to make things feel right again. In those moments, I would hungrily search for a new book on psychology, philosophy, or personal development. I fed myself with their wisdom. And my soul filled with hope, with fresh energy. I went to training. I went dancing. Music regenerated me—it reminded me of happy moments, of success. And so, the clouds of suffering slowly drifted away, one by one, making room for serenity to flood my inner world once again.

Today, I greet suffering differently—with more wisdom. I see it as an opportunity. My new belief is suffering elevates us. Perhaps this truth has always existed, but what excites me is that I discovered it on my own, through life experiences. A lesson learned through personal experience has a much deeper impact than one read in a book.

But how does suffering elevate us?

When we are broken down, when our heart weeps and our body suffers, devoid of strength, something within us—self-love—pushes us to rise. But I believe that not only love lifts us, suffering does too. When we emerge from the flames of pain, something within us becomes better, wiser. The soul fills with more kindness, the mind grows more understanding, more grateful, and the heart feels deeper compassion. It is a spiritual ascent. A new light warms our inner world, like sunrays after a storm. Nature seems fresher, more alive, more beautiful. Just like us—our perception expands, our smiles become more intense, our gratitude deepens, and our joy lasts longer.

I marvel at how much suffering can teach me about myself. It helps me understand myself, rediscover myself, protect myself more, and love myself more. It feels like a wise teacher, offering essential lessons—about resilience, about empathy.

But every realization must be tested. When we face suffering again, we will see whether we have truly learned something or not. Whether we had the strength to transform words, thoughts, and intentions into actions. We will see if we cry less, if we fall less easily, if we rise more quickly. Or maybe—one day—we will be able to stand tall, unwavering, peaceful, smiling, in the face of an experience that once would have caused us great pain.

Perhaps suffering is not something we can completely eliminate from our lives. Inevitably, it will appear along the way, in one form or another. But how we respond to it is a choice. I have chosen to transform it into inspiration, into discipline, into action.

One profound way to give meaning to our suffering is to turn it into a source of support and inspiration for others. I have chosen to embrace my experiences and share authentic stories—lessons learned and transformed into successes, whether big or small—to bring hope and strength to those who need it.

“The list of a woman’s sufferings seems endless when she has not learned what self-love is, when she is not fully aware in every moment of life of who she is.” (Between Kiss and Pain)

One thing has become clear to me: The way I perceive suffering has made it a close companion. Every time it appears, I know it will show me a new path, bring me valuable wisdom, and push me toward a higher step in my personal evolution.

In my next article, I will talk about The Art of Suffering Less, Creativity as a Path to Healing.

Article translated from Romanian Language.

Source: Anisoara Laura Mustetiu